Supporting children through trauma

Most children experience psychological trauma at some stage in their lives – perhaps as a result of parental separation or divorce, maybe due to a family bereavement or as a reaction to terrible events in the news.

"It is always difficult to know what to say to children in these situations. Knowing it's ok to talk about it honestly/answer any questions truthfully and how to watch for various signs of stress have enabled us to confidently engage with children around recent issues."

Kate, Fairways Pre-school, Southend.

Just like adults, children often struggle to cope with the emotional impact of such life-changing events – they can become distressed, disorientated and unfocussed, to such an extent that they have difficulty maintaining their normal daily routine.

Every child is different, and each copes with stressful life events in their own way. However, watch out for changes in the behaviour of a child you care for. Their response to trauma might be to change from outgoing to withdrawn or from introverted to exuberant, or from placid to irritable – the change in behaviour is the child’s way of telling you that something is wrong.

Here are some useful #Signposts for you when supporting children and young people to deal with global events.

Place2Be – Talking to children and young people about war and conflict
BBC’s Newsround is aimed at children so it is presented and uses language appropriate for children. They also give advice if you’re upset by the news
BookTrust – Books about war for older readers, picked by Michael Rosen
Take care of yourself – information and support from Mind
Resources for children and young people on global issues – GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)
Oxfam has provided a directory of some resources available to teach about global issues.
The UK Trauma Council and Anna Freud Centre have launched a short, animated film entitled Childhood trauma, war and conflict to support young people (aged 12-21) affected by long-term trauma after war and conflict. The film, available in multiple languages, uses storytelling to help inform young people about common physical and emotional responses to trauma and is accompanied by a short, written resource.

There are lots of organisations doing things to support people affected by the conflict. Some children and adults will take comfort in doing something to support others.

Reactions to emotionally draining experiences vary depending on a child’s resilience, their previous experience of dealing with stress, their age and stage of development, and their personality.

Children deal with trauma emotionally in five common ways:

Obvious distress. The child cries frequently, looks pale and drawn, and openly tells you that they are unhappy about what has happened.
Passivity. When they are with you, the child is emotionally flat, quiet and withdrawn. They are hard to engage in conversation and they have no interest in play activities.
Non-specific fear. The child is unusually afraid, perhaps telling you they are worried that something terrible is going to happen to them.
Personal responsibility. Sometimes children react to trauma by blaming themselves for what has happened; they are convinced it is their fault.
Psychological regression. They start to behave like a younger child, for instance wetting themselves during the day when they were previously dry.

Actions and words

As you will know if you look after children of different ages, the under-5s are less able than older children to express themselves using words. While a 10-year-old might confide in you that they feel dreadful because they miss their granddad terribly, or that they’re scared after a recent terror attack, a 4-year-old might go for weeks or months without saying a word.

So pay close attention to body language as well as to spoken language. You can learn a great deal from a child’s non-verbal communication, for example, the way that they make eye contact, the way they hold their head and shoulders and the distance they keep between themselves and others.

Resource Tips for talking to children (1)

Be aware of what adults around the children are talking about too. Consider not having the news on all the time when there’s been an incident – news features aimed at adults may confuse and distress children. This BBC Newsround advice for talking to children about distressing events is useful, too.

Whatever the age and developmental stage of the children in your care, always encourage open communication. If you create an atmosphere in your childcare setting where the children feel confident that they can discuss their concerns and anxieties at any time, then they will be much more likely to talk to you when they experience traumatic events.

10 tips for helping children through trauma

Offer reassurance. The child wants to hear you tell them that they are safe and well, and that everything will be OK.
Hugs and cuddles. Young children are usually comforted more by gentle, caring physical gestures than they are by words alone.
Listen. Allow – and encourage – children to voice their concerns. Listen respectfully and give them space to talk about the traumatic event.
Take concerns seriously. You know that a child has had nothing to do with her parents’ divorce, but she might feel responsible. Don’t trivialise their comments.
Show empathy. Let the child see that you understand what they are going through, for instance, saying to them “I can see that this is a difficult time for you”.
Answer honestly. If they ask you questions about what lies ahead for them, give a suitable answer. And if you don’t know, say so.
Draw them in. A child might need time and space to compose himself – that’s fine, but do encourage them to interact with the other children in your care.
Focus on the positives. No matter how awful the trauma has been, find something positive for the child to focus on.
Monitor progress. Keep a close watch over the child during the next few weeks and months. Look out for any sign that they are not coping or are troubled again.
Work with parents. A child will be further reassured to know that you and their parents have a close connection.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world."

Fred Rogers

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE’s)

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are stressful events occurring in childhood including domestic violence, parental abandonment through separation, abuse (physical, sexual, neglect or emotional), a parent with a mental health condition, being exposed to substance misuse, or being emotionally neglected. Current research tells us that adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) will affect the developing minds and bodies of children.

Find more from these #Signposts: